Sally Helgesen is the world’s premier expert on women’s leadership and the author of Rising Together.  She became the first person to write about inclusion in the workplace in 1995 with her book, The Web of Inclusion. In this episode of Love in Action, Sally and Marcel discuss the nuances of triggers and inclusive behaviors. 

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Show Notes

• “A trigger is a situation, or person, or a comment that stirs an emotional response in us.” [15:15] Whether it’s anger, shock, resentment, or horror, these emotional responses can be triggered by many factors, including race, ethnicity, age, and much more. These triggers lie well outside our circle of control but can become a major concern. Sally Helgesen’s goal with her book, Rising Together, is to take a look at the workplace and answer the question: How do we find a positive path forward for ourselves and the co-worker who has triggered us?

• “Telling ourselves this different story gives us a potential positive path forward.” [20:20] Visibility is one of the big triggers Sally talks about in her book. She explains many situations and reasons why one may become triggered by visibility. The solution: Rewrite the script. Put a positive spin on it (you don’t even have to truly believe it) and come through to the colleague who triggered you in a way that validates your idea.

• “Being professional in a situation, being clear about your intentions, and engaging from your heart is a lot more important than always trying to demonstrate your own authenticity.” [31:35] What are you trying to say?! This is a big trigger that comes from being around diverse groups in the workplace and not being comfortable. Whether it’s understanding cultures and religions, learning pronouns, or remembering and pronouncing different names, it’s important to make the effort with clear and professional intentions.

• “It’s not fair! We are so triggered by fairness. It really cuts to the bottom of our self esteem and our ability to make a contribution.” [35:20] Trigger number 5 from the book and the final one discussed in this episode is fairness. The reality is that it’s not a fair world, and it’s not a fair workplace. Sally shares how rewriting the script and opening dialogue in an “unfair” situation to get all the information before reacting.

• “What can I do to offer this person the benefit of my goodwill?” [42:12] The steps to bridge the gap to a more inclusive workplace come from generosity, grace, and the benefit of your goodwill. This is the other half of writing those positive scripts, which involves building relationships and positivity across the lines of gender, race, age, or ethnicity.

The Book:

Mentioned in this episode:

• Sally Helgesen
• Sally Helgesen on LinkedIn
• All Rise with Sally Helgesen
• RISING TOGETHER: How We Can Bridge Divides and Create a More Inclusive Workplace
• Marcel Schwantes

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