How can we restore peace this holiday season? That is the question Marcel Schwantes poses today to his guests Chester Elton and Adrian Gostick. Chester and Adrian are the co-authors of Leading with Gratitude (and many other best-selling management and leadership books!), and co-founders of The Culture Works, a global training firm that counsels the leadership of fortune 500 companies. They and Marcel talk about bringing gratitude into our homes and our workplaces.
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Marcel starts the conversation by asking Chester and Adrian what they’re grateful for. Chester keeps a quotation from Russel M. Nelson near his desk: “Counting our blessings is far better than recounting our problems.” This is particularly important to remember during years like this one, when it can be harder than usual to find things to be grateful. Adrian adds that he’s grateful for the opportunity to think about things in different ways. [05:45]
When we’re in the middle of so much conflict and divisiveness, Marcel asks what needs to happen for us to be more grateful during the Christmas season. Adrian talks about the upcoming virtual or socially distanced gatherings and families who have residual political differences. The important thing according to Adrian is “to treat people fairly.” Chester comments that we should “focus on what unites us.” [09:00]
Marcel notes that Adrian and Chester are really digging deep into empathy – and he asks what connection empathy has to gratitude. Chester notes that often when we enter into conflict we want to win, which isn’t effective. He quotes Adrian: “Take a beat. Listen more.” [13:45]
- Adrian reminds everyone that “you really need to do something.” We take for granted that the people we love know how we feel about them. “Tell them specifically why you love them. That specificity is really necessary.” [19:45]
- Marcel asks Adrian and Chester to get into how to actually implement a culture of gratitude. Speaking to the HR or leadership of an organization. Chester says the first thing you need to do is talk about it – identify where you are, where you want to be and how you’re going to get there, and the role that rituals can play in a company. Adrian talks about the importance of looking for small wins, which are really signposts that you’re on the right path. [25:05]
- Chester mentions that one of the benefits of the pandemic is that we’re all working remotely, and leaders have developed much more empathy since we’re all going through the same things. He talks about 3 of the questions he and Adrian encourage managers to ask their team members. [29:00]
- Adrian reminds us that fairness and equity are not the same. People need to be treated differently, and managers need to know what motivates each of the people you lead. Chester says it all comes back to caring, and knowing that your boss cares about you. [32:15]
- Chester says start and end your day on a positive note, and gives some strategies for how we can do that. [36:40]
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